Telling secrets
in the secret places of the stairs:
Fingertips, like lighted candles,
reaching out, from the dark
(O my dove, thou art
in the secret places of the stairs)
reaching out from the clefts of the rock,
from the secret places of the stairs;
reaching out, going out, going dark
in the secret places of the stairs.
O daughters of Jerusalem,
I am black but comely,
like a tent at midnight
with a lion crouching at its door,
sniffing at its door,
under a full moon in an empty sky
on a black night of a blacker god
who whispers secrets to the lost men
giggling in the secret places of the stairs –
the congregation of the lost men, the broken men,
the men sans hair, sans teeth, sans everything.
I cannot bear to keep them anymore,
these secrets of the secret places of the stairs,
nor dare I speak them
even though you question me incessantly,
“Speak! Why do you never speak?”
I never speak because I lost my tongue
where the dead men left their bones
and the living pick at them.
I dare not speak
except to those who cannot hear,
who have no ears to hear,
but hide in fear
among the secret places of the stairs,
squatting in the dust
and muttering their prayers
to a black god in a blacker sky
surrounding a dead moon
on a still night
in the secret places of the stairs.
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.
There are dragons
at the bottom of the river,
and the blood of demons
in the sky.
.
And to our left and right
the virgins fly
through that open window
that opens to the sky.
.
And in the blink of Shiva’s eye,
a dark mountain
rises to an even darker sky.
.
(and pierces Shiva’s eye)
.
Make no mistake:
the secret is the eye:
the eye that sees
and does not see;
.
the eye looking at the eye
looking back at me
.
right before we die,
when there is neither you nor I
but only a far-off speck
in a far-off corner
of Shiva’s far-off eye.
.
Om shanti, shanti, shanti Om.
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.
Paper, scissors, rock
crows the cock.
.
Look, look
caws the rook.
The one-eyed man
in seven-league boots
and four-and-twenty maidens
in four-and-twenty rows
wiggles his fingers
and nibbles their toes.
Nibble, nibble
little mousey;
nibble, nibble
at my housey.
Of gingerbread said
the one-eyed man;
try and catch me, if you can.
* * * *
Time at the speed of light stands still.
So, hurry up please, it’s time.
Hurry up at the speed of light,
at the speed of light, hurry
up the hill to the broken crown,
up the hill where they all fall down,
up the hill where the fathers say,
“Come what may!
I’m going!
God help me!”
and vanish
(first their fingers, then their toes)
into the night at the speed of light,
into the night at the speed of repose.
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October’s hungry sparrows
(weary like the heart is)
fetch and carry nesting,
resting occasionally in the sun.
I, however, have no house
(neither do I build one)
this chilly Tuesday
when restless birds pipe and call
among the thinning branches
and Winter, crouching on its haunches,
stalks the Fall
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“O lost, and by the wind grieved, Ghost, come back again.” Thomas Wolfe
These leaves,
they all fall down;
are falling down
with the sound of falling leaves
they fall, silent, to the ground.
And all are falling;
this hand, too, it falls:
it falls upon the page.
upon the word.
upon the stone.
upon the leaf.
upon the door.
It falls;
and having fallen,
falls no more.
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King Wu Wen presented me
with a hundred tortoises.
I fed the flesh to a hundred beggars,
and the shells I used for divination –
cast them into fire and read the cracks
the fire made along their backs.
Nothing furthers, they said. Also,
Every ending is a new beginning.
“Such nonsense!” I spat,
and beheaded the cat.
But what can one expect from empty tortoise shells?
Or old wise men like King Wu Wen?
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Under the surface,
under the slick of oil
spreading over the slick
of conceit;
under the tock
of the me. me. me.
ticks the I. I. I.
that watches, watches, watches
as we die, die, die.
Waits and watches, watches and waits –
this unseen, unwatched, watching Seer.
And we who have no house,
no house at all
(nor do we build one
on this chilly Tuesday
when Winter, crouching on its haunches,
stalks the Fall)
we, too, wait and watch,
watch and wait;
paint our lips with blood,
our eyes with death,
pucker up and hold our breath
in hot anticipation.
But, lacking inspiration,
mistake the mustard seed
between our teeth
for a bit of food
and spit it out lest we offend.
The end.
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Here, in the Valley of Bones,
where the scorpion mocks the turtle
as the turtle dies
and curses the scorpion
for its lies;
where dead men return,
and stones return,
and children’s teeth return;
here, at Elephant’s End,
we play cat’s cradle in the dirt,
where a little dog laughs
to see such sport,
and the wayward dish
returns.
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Three went into the garden dark
where secrets are kept for keeping;
one returned and one went mad,
and one remains there, sleeping.
But who is the fourth who walks through flames
around the garden wall,
weaving forbidden holy names
into the fringes of his shawl?
In the beginning was the word,
and by the word all things created;
yet it is said (and I have heard)
that by the word shall the word
itself be abrogated.
So ’round and ’round the garden wall
walks the one who walks in flames,
listening for the third to call,
from inside that garden wall,
when he hears the waiting word
spoken from among his names.
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The hermit of the marsh,
squatting in his thatchy hut alone,
painted his face with mud and chanted, Om.
Sounds among the yarrow stalks:
shaking pumpkins;
floating bones;
drowning bees;
awakening stones.
We searched for omens in each of these.
“What do you see” we asked.
“Nitchevo,” you answered.
“What do you hear?” we asked.
“Nitchevo,” you said.
“What? Do you see nothing? hear nothing?”
I neither hear the pumpkin shaking,
nor the bones breaking,
nor the bees drowing.
“But the stones, the stones,”
we say, “We hear them singing.
singing to the bones.”
* * * *
So now we wait again in this uncertain
hour, between the dark and the daylight,
when the Nightshade begins to flower
and cicada sing:
Hos-podi po-milwi. Has-podi po-milwi.
A lazy beetle rolls its dung across
the sky, while you and I gather moss.
Meanwhile, in another time and place,
the hermit of the marsh has flown his coop,
but left this note:
Be still, and know that I am gone
back home.
Om Shanti Shanti Shanti Om.
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